For the Freak Foor version of this transcript, see here.
Susie's decision[]
Lois: "I want to go to Josie's house, please!"
Susie: "Forget it. You'll see Josie again when you've improved your behavior because I'm sending you away to a Behavior Modification Camp in Oregon."
cut to:
[Lois on the airplane with Frank and Susie]
Lois: "I do not want to go to Oregon, why are you sending me there?"
Susie: "Because you asked for it. You've been a complete brat."
Lois: "Okay, I promise I will behave."
Cut to:
[The plane has arrived in Oregon]
Frank: "Farewell, Lois. We will be back in three months to pick you up, so you'd better behave."
6 days after Lois has left[]
[Susie is fixing lunch for Wanda]
Susie: "Here is your lunch, sweetie."
[Wanda eats her lunch]
Wanda: "Yum!"
cut to:
[Lois tries to get out of the BMC facility to go to her friend Josie's house]
Officer: "YOU WILL NOT GO TO YOUR FRIEND'S HOUSE!"
Lois: "I also want to watch Cartoon Network, sir!" (she lacerates the commanding officer)
Officer: "RIGHT!!!! YOU BROUGHT YOURSELF 15 PERFECT BUNNY HOPS, MISSY!!!!!!!!!"
2 weeks after Lois has left[]
Lois: "I want to go to my friend's house, please!"
Officer: "Stop. You need to improve your behavior."
Lois: (screeching) "I WANT TO GO TO JOSIE'S HOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Officer: "You bought yourself 5 running laps, Kiejliches."
Lois: "I HATE YOU, YOU fuckING PIECE OF shit!"
Officer: "Right! 7 running laps!"
Lois: "SUCK MY Dick, faggot!"
Officer: "14 running laps!"
Lois: "Quit speaking, dork."
Officer: "Run, run, run! There is a fire!"
[Lois reluctantly starts running laps]
Officer: "Keep running, girl!"
Lois: I will be running all right, and I running to see Josie and we will be watching Cartoon Network together! We are lesbians, after all!"
Cut to:
[Susie and Wanda are swimming in their backyard pool]
3 weeks after Lois has left[]
[Wanda is playing Elefun with a friend]
The call[]
Susie: "Hello?"
Delia German: "Lois is completely out of control!! You have to come get her right away!!"
Susie: "What's wrong?"
Delia German: "She has gone AWOL! She called me a fat, stupid, ugly woman. She told me she was a lesbian!"
Susie: "I'll be right there."
Susie and Frank get tough with Lois[]
Susie: "Oh, my god! Lois, I cannot believe you called Ms. German a big, fat, stupid, ugly woman!"